If you’re looking for a therapist or life coach, you’ve likely been living in a place of exhaustion and desperation for some time. You may be dealing with an addiction you just can’t beat, you may be feeling inadequate because you can never please or do enough for those most important to you, you may be overwhelmed by fears and traumas from the past, or you may be drowning under the weight of a marriage that leaves you feeling miserable and unseen. Whatever it is that brought you here, I’m glad you’re looking for help!
For many of us, we enter into therapy as a last resort. We’ve tried again and again to fix certain things in our lives with little success. Eventually our unsatisfying relationships or unwanted thoughts, feelings, or behaviors may drive us to seek help – but usually with little understanding of the roots behind these problems. Many come into therapy wondering if there’s something wrong with them. So I can tell you:
No matter what baggage you bring with you, what regrets you carry, or whatever painful cycles may be wreaking havoc in your life or relationships, your person is not the problem!
Whether we’re aware of it or not, we all have wounds and traumas that affect the way we see and engage in the world around us. For some of us, these wounds are rather obvious, whereas others may struggle for years with addictions or dysfunctional relationships without recognizing the wounds that formed those behaviors. In our most intimate relationships, wounds rub against wounds and we both become undone. The problem is, no matter how badly we may want to change, once we’ve learned to rely on certain behaviors to manage the pains and challenges of life, we often feel terrified or incapable of responding to life without them. But that’s where therapy can help…
Therapy is not about “fixing” people, but rather creating a “safe space” for people to be able to grow and heal – to “unlearn” some of the dysfunctional ways they’ve developed to cope with life. But healing can only occur when we feel safe enough to be genuine and honest about what’s really going on inside – allowing light to enter the darkness and confusion of our present circumstances.
As a therapist, it’s my job to create a safe space for you to bring your pain, confusion, and shame into the present to better understand what’s really going on. With couples, it’s not my job to point a finger and identify who is “right” or “wrong,” but rather to create a haven where each person can be seen and heard.
My story is different than yours, but I can tell you that I’ve stood where you’re standing now. I know that cry of desperation when life isn’t working and you don’t know how to fix it. I’ve experienced the devastation and powerlessness of a life consumed by addiction and the grueling and painful work of recovery, and I can tell you that change and healing are possible.